It was February 2011. Embarkability was turning 1 in April, and I wasn't quite sure what the next steps were. I knew there was something that didn't feel right, there was something MORE that I wanted to be doing, another way I wanted to contribute.
As we all know, not only do those whispers stay around until we listen to them, they also only get progressively louder and LOUDER. And avoiding those whispers was getting exhausting at this point.
So I decided to do something about it. I decided to stop and reevaluate.
I knew that whatever I had been doing wasn't working in terms of seeking clarity, so I made some pretty big changes.
In the middle of February, I began my 30-day journey inwards; I lovingly called it my Inner Clarity Retreat.
This retreat included the following:
Near daily yoga, meditation, reading, and journaling
No TV
No dating
No alcohol
No hanging out endlessly on Facebook
No speaking poorly of myself
No speaking poorly of other people
Essentially, I eliminated all of the things from my life that would normally distract me from me. It may seem somewhat extreme, and it was.
I realized that I wanted to help young women find clarity, purpose, and direction in their personal and professional lives. It was only by creating an environment where I gave my whispers the opportunity to speak (while agreeing to listen) that I could discover my core truths, and clarify how I really wanted to contribute to the world at large.
The journey was totally intense, but SO worth it. Here is a snippet of the many lessons I learned throughout it all:
1. Clarity is power. We can only achieve our goals once we're super clear on what it is we actually want to achieve. The clearer you are, the more easily you can get from A to B. Here's why: if you don't know exactly where you're going, you won't know once you get there.
2. It's all about feelings. We don't want things for the things themselves; we want them because of how we anticipate they'll make us FEEL. Whether you want to lose 10 pounds, budget more carefully, or find your ideal partner, it's not the goals themselves that we're after. It's the feelings that we expect to feel as a result of attaining them.
3. Faith is the answer to fear. I used to think that control was the answer to fear. The more control you have, the less fearful you'll be. But, I'm learning that control is really just an illusion. Interestingly, faith is all about releasing control and believing that everything is and will be okay.
4. There can be discomfort in growth (that's why they're called growing PAINS). Just like it can hurt when you're working a muscle in order for it to get stronger, it can also feel uncomfortable when you're stretching yourself beyond your comfort zone. And that's OKAY. Expect the discomfort; it won't be as scary then when it shows up.
5. Who we want to be is already within us. Your ideal self already exists within you. Don't move, don't talk - just sit and listen, and it will slowly reveal itself.
6. Questions are really quest-ions. Think about it. Quest is another word for journey and ions are energy particles. Questions are really energy particles of a journey. Maybe the purpose of a question isn't to find the answer, but to provide momentum for the journey itself.
7. Stop waiting. Enough with the "someday, one day" hoopla. The only thing that exists is this very moment; be happy NOW, celebrate NOW, love yourself NOW.
This week's Quarter Life Clarity assignment
Consider giving yourself your own Inner Clarity Retreat. Whether it's for 30 days, 2 weeks, or a few hours, giving yourself the space and time to sit back and let your whispers speak up can be hugely transformational. As I always say, we're like bank accounts; you can only withdraw once you deposit. Consider this an opportunity to deposit, and learn more about yourself, so that you can show yourself - and others - more love in return.
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