Dance like no one's watching

Prepare to feel better after watching this

Smart things people said

"I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be." - Albert Einstein

Dance like no one's watching

What Lucille Ball, The Beatles, and Michael Jordan all have in common

Smart things people said

"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be." - May Sarton

Dance like no one's watching

Where do you want to be 5 years from now?

Smart things people said

"We are all carrying so many things in our life, and inside ourselves. Often it feels there is no place to put them down. Where do you place the questions you carry? The sadness and the epiphanies? The quiet worries? Where can you put down the truth, as messy and new and raw as it sometimes feels?…Trust the mess and the not knowing. This is the real part, the most interesting part. Trust the mess. Trust yourself. Leave ripples." - Sabrina Ward Harrison

Dance like no one's watching

It's just a ride

Smart things people said

"The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware; joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware." - Henry Miller

Dance like no one's watching

The brick walls are there for a reason

Smart things people said

"Today is life - the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto." - Dale Carnegie

Dance like no one's watching

I live for these speeches

Smart things people said

"God  calls you to the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet."  - Fredrick Buechner

Dance like no one's watching

What's your dream?

Smart things people said

"Don't look further for answers: be the solution. You were born with everything you need to know. Make a promise to stop getting in the way of the blessing that you are. Take a deep breath, remember to have fun and begin." - Jonathan H. Ellerby

Dance like no one's watching

What does the world expect of you?

Smart things people said

"If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking." - Buddhist Proverb

Dance like no one's watching

A song to live by

Smart things people said

"I see my path, but I don’t know where it leads. Not knowing where I’m going is what inspires me to travel it."- Rosalia de Castro

Dance like no one's watching

Bliss is your birthright

"It is our imagination that transforms itself into reality." - Helen Araromi

Dance like no one's watching

The thing about pain

Smart things people said

“Everything in its perfect time. Everything is unfolding. And I’m enjoying where I am now, in relationship to where I’m going. Content where I am, and eager for more." - Abraham Hicks

Dance like no one's watching

A movie to watch in entirety...

Smart things people said

"We are all facing choices that define us. No choice, however messy, is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. We all at our own age have to claim something, even if it is only our own confusion."
- Sabrina Ward Harrison

Dance like no one's watching

Two powerful words...how often do you say them?

Smart things people said

"Just keep telling yourself that getting what your heart really desires is possible and necessary. Eventually experience will teach you that it’s true." - Martha Beck

Dance like no one's watching

It's all about you (yes, REALLY!)

You know when you're annoyed with someone? Or when you're convinced something is THEIR fault? Or when they always seem to say the wrong thing? Well, I have some news for you. It has NOTHING to do with them, and EVERYTHING to do with you. I want you to read that 3 more times, and really get it before we move on. Once you get this, your life will change dramatically.  Everyone is really just a mirror for us. The relationships we have with our friends, colleagues, family, and significant other are simply opportunities for us to learn more about ourselves. When you react to something, it doesn't have to do with the other person. It has to do with your own stuff - whether it reminds you of how you used to be, or how someone used to treat you, or a quality of one of your parents that you can't stand, our reactions have nothing to do with what the other person is doing, and everything to do with us.  But here's the thing. It's a lot easier to just point the finger at them and declare that it's THEIR problem. If only they were different, if only they responded in some other way, if only, if only, if only... Interesting enough, you would have the same reaction to what was done regardless of who did it. And your reaction is yours, and yours alone. This is why some people can tolerate certain things in relationships, while others can't. This is why certain people annoy you for some reason, but they don't annoy your friends, even though they act the exact same way to them.  This wake-up call may seem a tad abrasive and overwhelming, but it's actually very exciting. When you realize and really get that it's all about you, you can stop waiting for someone else to make you feel better, and instead, reclaim your own personal power.  Here's the good news and the bad news: No one can really make you feel better in a real way and for the long term except for you. And you know what? It's not their responsibility either. It's taken me quite a while (read: 29 years) to get this. I've been in plenty of relationships where I not only wanted people to make me feel better, but I EXPECTED it. And surprise, surprise, none of those relationships have lasted. Instead, I've spent the past few years working on me, and really strengthening my ability to give me what I had been seeking out from other people for far too long.  The more we commit to being responsible for our own happiness, the less we will expect of people, the more we will appreciate them, and the healthier our relationships will be in general.  Doing this, however, takes work, and isn't as easy as assigning the responsibility to someone else. It requires you to look within, really get to know yourself, forgive yourself, love yourself - flaws and all, and become personally accountable for your life. Now the cool thing about this is that it's SO rewarding and beyond freeing. How cool to not have to depend on anyone else to make you feel happy. I mean, if that isn't empowering, I don't know what is. So, what will it be? Are you ready to reclaim your personal power and give yourself everything that,  up until this point, you've been waiting (and ultimately, expecting) to get from someone else, or will you continue pointing the finger at everyone except the person who is really responsible? If you liked this article, and want to receive more articles like this sent directly to your inbox every Thursday, you can sign up here:  Yes, I love this stuff!   ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Remember, you can do this!  I'm here to help you make 2011 the year you become a superstar. Having ongoing support and accountability is essential if you want to achieve your goals quickly and easily.       We offer a range of programs to accommodate your goals and budget, so that you can receive our help no matter what. Call us at 917-572-8871 so that you can get started today!

There is not can't, won't, or impossible...

Smart things people said

"Act the part and you will become the part." - William James

The perfect career - and how to find it

Dance like no one's watching

Stop telling yourself you need it

How many times have you used the word NEED? I need money I need a new job I need to be in a relationship I need to know what's going on I need to feel better now In all likelihood, it probably doesn't make you feel so great. Telling yourself you need something puts you in a mindset of desperation, frustration, and urgency. And how's that working for you?  To say that you "need" something implies that something in your life is lacking. It's choosing to see the world through the lens of scarcity, which doesn't serve you on any level.  So you might be wondering - what's a better alternative? What word can you use instead of "need" to help you shift your perspective? The word to use instead is INTEND. Intend is the new need. When you use the word intend, you completely shift your perspective. No longer are you in a position where your happiness is determined by whether you do or do not have something. When you need something, you lose your power. Saying you need something gives your circumstances the power. Your okay-ness is contingent upon something else that you don't currently have. And as a result, there is a sense of urgency and even fear that propels you forward. Replacing the word "need" with "intend" brings the power back to you. Intend implies that you are back in the driver's seat; you are no longer propelled by fear and urgency, rather by your own personal power.  And what a difference that makes! Suddenly, you feel like attaining what you desire is possible and within your reach. This shifts the energy you bring to your life, and to the actions you take.  I need money becomes I intend to attract money into my life I need a new job becomes I intend to find a new job that I love I need to be in a relationship becomes I intend to meet a fantastic partner I need to know what's going on becomes I intend to find some answers I need to feel better now becomes I intend to find ways to make myself feel better Saying it this way - reframing it - makes you feel better. And feelings are what attract your circumstances. While the definition of "need" is "to be in want", "intend" means "to direct the mind on" or "to have in mind as a purpose or goal." Which would you prefer to use? The choice is yours. Choose wisely.  If you liked this article, and want to receive weekly articles like this in your inbox every Thursday, you can sign up here: Yes! I love this stuff.

What you tell yourself about yourself determines everything

Smart things people said

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly." - Unknown

How well are you taking care of you?

How can I help you? Let me know: http://bit.ly/mP2xe7

Dance like no one's watching

You don't need a bathroom pass

A lot of us are waiting for something or someone in order to get to where we want to go. Whether we feel like we need a parent's approval, a significant other's validation, or a sign of some sort, a lot of people are holding to the notion of a bathroom pass. Enough with the waiting! Enough with thinking that your need people's permission or go-ahead to live your life full out. Sure, would it be nicer if you had approval, validation, or some indication that what you're doing is the "right" thing for you? Yes, you might feel like taking the leap - whether towards a promotion or a new relationship - would be easier with extra cushion of reassurance. But, here's the thing. Life doesn't work that way. Life isn't about seeking the approval of others. Do you know how many people have succeededbecause they chose the path that their family and peers didn't support? Unconditional love is just that. It is love without conditions. The people who really and truly love you unconditionally will love you regardless of the path you take. They may not be the biggest fans, but when it all comes down to it, who gets to win - you or them? Would you rather live a life in accordance with THEIR dreams and hopes for you, and feel unfulfilled and inauthentic as a result, or live a life that speaks to YOU and what your heart really wants?    When we were in fifth grade, and didn't raise our hand to ask for the bathroom pass, or we would get up and start to leave without the pass, the teacher would stop us. And we would listen. Because we were 10 years old. We've graduated from junior high since then, and with that, comes our graduation from these ridiculous rules. When you get up to go somewhere, and someone says, stop, keep going. When you want to go do something, but feel like it's not your turn, get over it, and keep going. Whatever you do, keep going. Your dreams depend on it.  There is no bathroom pass that's granted to you by others. Your fifth grade teacher is no longer calling the shots. Nor are your parents or friends or significant other. You, Jordana, are responsible for seeing your dreams through to reality. Whether or not people approve and high-five you along the way is really irrelevant. It's not other people's responsibilities to validate you and give you permission to live the life of your dreams. It's on you.  So do yourself a favor and grant yourself a lifelong bathroom pass to do whatever it is that feels right to you. The next time you're seeking someone's approval, look within, and give it to yourself. The bathroom pass is no longer hanging on a hook by the door; it's in your hand. Once you really get that, life will become much easier, freeing, and fun.  If you liked this article, and want to receive weekly articles like this in your inbox every Thursday, you can sign up here: Yes! I love this stuff.

Need help getting out of bed in the morning?

Smart things people said

"The beginning is always today."  - Mary Wollstonecraft

What do YOU want?

Introducing QLC's weekly video series, where you tell me what's not working for you, and I share my input and advice to help you move forward. It's 100% anonymous and 100% my gift to you. So, what are you waiting for? :) http://bit.ly/mP2xe7

Would you rather feel disappointed or uncomfortable?

There have been a bunch of things that I've wanted for a while now, both personally and professionally. While I've definitely accomplished some of my goals, I find that there are several goals that remain to be reached. 

So I started to think about why I haven't yet achieved them. Why if I wanted something so badly have I not achieved it yet? And I discovered something very interesting after a considerable amount of time journaling and thinking through it all.

When you have goal and you know that it's something you definitely want, but you're finding that it continues to remain unreached, it's usually because of one reason.

You're avoiding feeling uncomfortable. Now when I say "uncomfortable" I'm not only referring to the kind of discomfort you feel when you're cramped in the middle seat on an airplane. 

Discomfort can show up in the form of physical pain, emotional distress, panic, social awkwardness, loneliness, sadness, anger. Essentially, anything that you don't want to be feeling.

I think many of us (myself included) would like to be able to get what we want in an easy breezy kinda way. While I don't believe that the "no pain, no gain" mantra applies to every situation, I think it can definitely apply to most. 

Let's talk about the word "pain" for a second though. Things are what we call them after all. It's all a matter of perspective. A computer crashing can be called a catastrophe or an opportunity to buy the new computer you've been eyeing for a while now. Life doesn't really operate in absolutes. As you choose which words to use to describe a situation, your reality is born. There is no set objective reality. It's all a matter of how we choose to perceive and understand what happens to us.

You say something is scary? It becomes scary. You say something is uncomfortable, it becomes uncomfortable. And then the likelihood of you doing it consistently lessens, because who wants to repeatedly move towards uncomfortable situations?

I don't know about you, but when I don't accomplish my goals, I'm disappointed, especially if I feel like I could have done more to see them through to reality. And the reason I didn't take more action is because I was avoiding feeling uncomfortable. I've missed yoga classes at 7am not because I don't want to go, but because staying in bed feels more comfortable. 

So would you rather feel uncomfortable or disappointed? Because when you make decisions that are you related to your goals, you'll probably feel one or the other. If we can shift our experience and understanding of "discomfort" maybe we can choose feeling uncomfortable more often. 

The way I see it is that it's all growing pains, which means that these feelings are part of the growing process. When we begin using new muscles, it hurts in the beginning. When we do something that we've never done before, it can feel scary. But will you left your temporary discomfort compromise your long-term growth? Don't deny yourself of getting what you want because of fear, discomfort or pain. Because while those feelings with subside, feeling disappointed about your goals that remain unreached will stay with you indefinitely. 

What to do while you wait for it

Your first question might be, well, what do you mean when you say wait for "it" - what's IT? 

It can be anything - a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a phone call, an interview, a solution, an idea. Think of what you feel like you're waiting for right now, and that is what is "it" for you today. 

So what to do while you wait? 

1. Ask yourself, is there anything I can realistically do to speed up this process? Sometimes, the answer may very well be, yes. After all, life isn't all about having things happen to us; rather it's about us making things happen. Getting results usually involves taking some sort of action. So maybe you will be able to shorten the waiting process. Maybe getting the things you want is a matter of you actually doing more. So before you do anything else, ask yourself this and then give yourself a thoughtful and honest answer.

2. See the waiting as an opportunity. Okay, so assuming that all action relating to getting what you want has already been taken, let's shift our perspective on your waiting time. Because if you can't do anything about it, you might as well change your attitude. 

I truly believe that not only does everything happen for a reason, but that the best things in my life happen right after moments of feeling overwhelmed, uncomfortable and/or confused. So for me, personally, the "worse" the situation, the more that I know deep down that something awesome will show up as a result. I think part of that, however, involves, inviting that positive aftereffect as a possibility in your life. 

So instead of being pissed about having to wait, see it as an opportunity for something good to come from it. Maybe, if you're sitting in traffic, it's an opportunity to return phone calls that have been on your to-do list for far too long. If you're waiting on line, that the person standing near you could end up being a significant person in your life. And if you're waiting for that special someone, maybe there is more for you to learn about yourself before you invite someone else into your life.   

3. See waiting as an opportunity to trust. I used to think that feeling in control prevented feeling afraid, but I've recently revised that theory. Instead, I now believe that the FAITH is the antidote to fear. And interestingly, faith is all about *releasing* control and BELIEVING that everything is and will be okay. Because that's why waiting bothers us after all, right? That we doubt that everything is and will be okay - if we knew deep down in our guts that what we are waiting for is without a doubt on its way, I think we would all calm down, and embrace the waiting process.   

Think about it. We don't freak out after we've ordered something at a restaurant. Because we *know* that the food is on its way to us. Or we don't get all panicked after we order something online, because, again, we *know* that it's on its way to us. It's only when we doubt if what we want will *ever* show up, that we enter panic mode. It's also, when we don't know exactly when it will arrive. It's the lack of certainty and control that really gets to us. 

So even if it feels like you're playing pretend in the beginning, start telling yourself that whatever it is you want is DEFINITELY on its way to you. And as to when it's coming? Tell yourself that it's coming at the perfect time, whenever that may be. 

Trust. Have faith. Breathe it out. Because, as I said, you can't change the situation, but you can definitely change your attitude, and as a result your overall experience. 

Why you don't yet have whatever it is you want

We all want certain things. 

Whether it's a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a new job, more money, or a "better" body (whatever that may mean to you), we all want certain things that we don't yet have.

And then we wonder why they don't arrive as quickly as we want them to. If we want something so badly, why isn't it already here? 

One would think - as many of us do (I definitely did up until recently) that if we want something badly enough, it will come our way. But how often does that really work? I don't know about you, but that hasn't seemed to really work for me all that well. 

So then what's the next step? When you want something SO badly, what do you do to get from wishing and wanting to actually living and experiencing this ideal life that you've mapped out for yourself?

1. First off, congratulate yourself. The fact that you actually know what it is you want is a very big deal. Many people struggle to figure out what it is they want, so if you know for certain that you want certain things, you've actually accomplished a lot already.

2. Find your big WHY. After you figure out what it is you want, ask yourself why you want it. Because here's the thing. You want an awesome relationship or an amazing body because of how you imagine having those things will make you FEEL. Whatever it is you want, you want it because you believe that it will make you feel better. So what are the feelings you anticipate feeling as a result of having what you want?

3. Stop dwelling on not having these things. What you focus on, grows. So if you're focusing endlessly on not having the relationship and not having the money, you'll just keep getting more of that. 

4. Play pretend. While it may seem silly, living as if you *already* have the things you want will bring you whatever it is you want more easily and quickly than whatever you're doing now. What can you do to help yourself start believing that you already have what you want? Write down how you imagine you'll feel once you have what you want, and bask in those good feelings for 10 minutes everyday. It will make a huge difference. 

5. Practice gratitude. The Universe only brings you what you want when you're already appreciative of what you have today. If you want more money, think about how you're grateful for whatever money you have today, no matter how much. Focus on the positive aspects of the areas in your life that you feel like need improvement. Re-shifting your attention to what IS working will put you in a better mindset to help you attract whatever else it is you want. 

6. Take action. We can meditate and journal until we're blue in the face, but results come from taking action. So get off your couch, get outside, meet new people, get to the gym, network - whatever actions will help you get closer to achieving your goal. 

Create the future you imagine

I don't know about you, but I don't think we can ever be TOO inspired or motivated. That said, I've decided to share a video that I find inspiring, motivational, or uplifting every week. 


I would love to hear what you think! Feel free to share your comments below as well as videos that you've found to be transformational. 

Stop comparing yourself to your friends

We all do it. Whether it's about your career, your relationship, how much money you make, or your weight, comparing yourself to other people - but in particular, your friends - is second nature to most of us.

In fact, most of our negative self-talk probably comes from first looking at somebody else and saying - oh my goodness, look at her body, boyfriend/girlfriend, clothing, job, and then looking at our own in comparison. And then the measuring stick comes out. If you happen to find yourself "less than" the other person, your inner mean girl quickly rises to the surface and takes over.

But here's the thing, when you compare yourself to someone else, and then see yourself as "less than," there are a bunch of holes in your argument. Here are some things to think about next time your inner mean girl shows up.

1. You're making a bunch of assumptions. You may think you know what's going on in a person's life, but you don't *really* know. Especially in the era of Facebook, it's so easy to look at someone's page, and to create a whole story about a person's life as a result. Recognize that you're telling the story and it's just that: a STORY. It's not a fact, it's not absolute. It's you gathering a few pieces of "evidence" to support this story that you're making up. Stop assuming, stop idealizing, and start telling a story that makes you feel better.

2. You're focusing on the wrong person. Who cares what Friend X has accomplished or who Friend Y is dating? What do YOU want? Re-shift your attention on yourself and yourself ALONE. By focusing on other people, you're essentially allowing yourself to stay stuck and not take action and make excuses as a result. If you want to see results in your life, look in the mirror and use yourself as a measuring stick.

3. You'll never be satisfied. If you're always gauging your "enough-ness" based on someone else and the job/boyfriend/girlfriend/clothing/body she has, you'll be chasing after happiness forever. Success comes when you have set goals based on what YOU want, and then accomplishing them on your own terms.

Regardless of what someone has or doesn't have, what they do or don't look like, when it comes down to it, we're all really the same. We all want to feel loved, we all have fears, and we ALL have insecurities. Even if someone seems like she has it all, I can tell you for sure that the person doesn't think that she does.

The grass can always be greener. But maybe the idea is to stop looking at the color of your grass and the color of your neighbor's grass, and to start focusing on the fact that you both have grass, period.

You have grass and I have grass. And they look different and grow differently and that's OKAY. Love yourself absolutely, regardless of what's going on in anyone else's life. Because here is what will happen if you don't; if you focus all of your attention on your neighbor's grass, you will begin to neglect your own and it will wither and die. Let your neighbor focus on herself, while you focus on yourself, and everyone can grow together.

This week's Quarter Life Clarity assignment

Now it's your turn. For this week, just focus on you, and see what kind of difference it makes for you in your life.

Get out there

A lot of my clients ask me what they can do to see bigger results in their life. And the answer I give them, while remarkably simple, is extremely powerful at the same time. 

It's this: Get out there. 

While I'm a huge proponent of sitting with yourself and reflecting and having you time, to actually *make things happen* requires taking action, and that begins with getting out there (reread this sentence over - it's an important one). 

See, the thing is that the more people you meet in your life, the more quickly you will achieve your goals. And the reason why is that we grow through people. 

How many times have you gotten a job or an opportunity has come your way more quickly and easily because you knew someone?

How many times have you met the person you're dating because you simply left your apartment or house?

And yet, in many ways, because of online dating and social media, we tell ourselves that we can accomplish just as much while we're in our pajamas on our couch. While you can for sure still accomplish some things, I absolutely promise you that you will achieve your goals so MUCH more quickly and easily if you simply put your shoes on and go outside. 

I get the appeal of staying at home. It feels safer, more comfortable, you avoid taking any risks. But, isn't that how we grow? By taking risks and walking towards the unknown and stepping outside of our comfort zones?

The advice I give my clients is oftentimes extremely simple. But simple doesn't mean easy, and I know that. Getting out there is extremely simple. But how many of us choose to stay home in front of the TV or on Facebook, as opposed to getting out there and inviting the exciting and unexpected surprises that are waiting for us outside our doors? 

So after I tell my clients to get out there, the next question is always this: Okay, well how can I make it easier for me to do that consistently?

Here's what I tell them:

1. Get yourself a buddy to help hold you accountable. When you know that someone else is expecting you to go on that date, or that interview, or to that networking event, it won't be as easy to let yourself off the hook. 

2. Give yourself an incentive. Positive reinforcement can always help. Set up a reward system so that you have something to look forward to.

3. Just do it. Again, it's the simplest things that often make the biggest impact. Sometimes, you just need to quiet all of the excuses in your head, get off your couch, put your shoes on, and open the front door. 

Since I've made a commitment to get out there more, I've made so many more friends, had really exciting opportunities come my way, and have begun working with the exact kinds of client I want to be working with. 

This week's Quarter Life Clarity assignment  

Now it's your turn. Are you ready to make the commitment to get out there more? Set a goal to get out there 3 or more times during the week. And then let me know if you start to notice a difference in your life, and if exciting people and opportunities start to show up. I have a really good feeling that they will...

What are you hiding from?

We spend a lot of our lives hiding from things. Whether it's the unknown, the unfamiliar, or the uncomfortable, we give a lot of our time and energy to mapping out our exit strategy from dealing with our fears.

It could be an exciting job opportunity that is presented to you. It could be the potential of a new relationship. It could be a career change. Or it could be a loss of some kind. Whatever it is, we don't want to deal with it, and we run for our lives. 

When it all comes down to it, the only things we're really hiding from are our feelings. And they're just feelings after all, right? They won't hurt you or kill you. They only have power if YOU choose to give power to them. 

And the feelings we have simply come from the thoughts we think. So if you want to feel something different, start thinking differently. It's as simple as that. Challenge your thoughts. Question your assumptions. Uncover what's really happening (versus what you're telling yourself is happening).

Here's the reason running away from your feelings doesn't work:

1. We often escape by adopting unhealthy behavior/habits, i.e. over-eating, drinking too much, over-medicating, doing drugs, entering into and staying in unhealthy relationships. 

2. The feelings don't go away. They're still there, alive and well, still eagerly waiting to be acknowledged.

When we're growing up and think that monsters are under our beds, it isn't until we actually LOOK under the bed and realize that there is nothing there, that we can move forward. The same goes when it comes to our feelings. They only disappear once we give them a good look - acknowledge them, recognize them and listen to what they're trying to tell us. 

Because, as much as you and I would love for them to just magically disappear, I promise you that they won't. They will simply get louder and more irritating. And as much as you may try to quiet them by hiding behind food, people, alcohol, or all of the above, you won't succeed. 

And going back to one of my first points, they're *just* feelings. And we are not our feelings, nor are we our thoughts. So instead of judging them and resisting them, simply choose to look at them and see what they have to say. It's only when we start running away from them, that we start to harm ourselves. 

 

 

This week's Quarter Life Clarity assignment  

Grab a journal and give yourself fifteen minutes and on the top of the page write, "How am I feeling?" Then start to write. Don't judge. Don't censor. Just release whatever it is that you're holding onto. Let it go. 

My 30-day detox: How Quarter Life Clarity was born

It was February 2011. Embarkability was turning 1 in April, and I wasn't quite sure what the next steps were. I knew there was something that didn't feel right, there was something MORE that I wanted to be doing, another way I wanted to contribute. 

As we all know, not only do those whispers stay around until we listen to them, they also only get progressively louder and LOUDER. And avoiding those whispers was getting exhausting at this point. 

So I decided to do something about it. I decided to stop and reevaluate. 

I knew that whatever I had been doing wasn't working in terms of seeking clarity, so I made some pretty big changes. 

In the middle of February, I began my 30-day journey inwards; I lovingly called it my Inner Clarity Retreat. 

This retreat included the following:

Near daily yoga, meditation, reading, and journaling 

No TV

No dating

No alcohol

No hanging out endlessly on Facebook

No speaking poorly of myself

No speaking poorly of other people

Essentially, I eliminated all of the things from my life that would normally distract me from me. It may seem somewhat extreme, and it was.

But, it totally worked. Within the first 5 days, Quarter Life Clarity was born.  

I realized that I wanted to help young women find clarity, purpose, and direction in their personal and professional lives. It was only by creating an environment where I gave my whispers the opportunity to speak (while agreeing to listen) that I could discover my core truths, and clarify how I really wanted to contribute to the world at large. 

The journey was totally intense, but SO worth it. Here is a snippet of the many lessons I learned throughout it all:

1. Clarity is power. We can only achieve our goals once we're super clear on what it is we actually want to achieve. The clearer you are, the more easily you can get from A to B. Here's why: if you don't know exactly where you're going, you won't know once you get there. 

2. It's all about feelings. We don't want things for the things themselves; we want them because of how we anticipate they'll make us FEEL. Whether you want to lose 10 pounds, budget more carefully, or find your ideal partner, it's not the goals themselves that we're after. It's the feelings that we expect to feel as a result of attaining them. 

3. Faith is the answer to fear. I used to think that control was the answer to fear. The more control you have, the less fearful you'll be. But, I'm learning that control is really just an illusion. Interestingly, faith is all about releasing control and believing that everything is and will be okay. 

4. There can be discomfort in growth (that's why they're called growing PAINS). Just like it can hurt when you're working a muscle in order for it to get stronger, it can also feel uncomfortable when you're stretching yourself beyond your comfort zone. And that's OKAY. Expect the discomfort; it won't be as scary then when it shows up.

5. Who we want to be is already within us. Your ideal self already exists within you. Don't move, don't talk - just sit and listen, and it will slowly reveal itself. 

6. Questions are really quest-ions. Think about it. Quest is another word for journey and ions are energy particles. Questions are really energy particles of a journey. Maybe the purpose of a question isn't to find the answer, but to provide momentum for the journey itself. 

7. Stop waiting. Enough with the "someday, one day" hoopla. The only thing that exists is this very moment; be happy NOW, celebrate NOW, love yourself NOW. 

This week's Quarter Life Clarity assignment  

Consider giving yourself your own Inner Clarity Retreat. Whether it's for 30 days, 2 weeks, or a few hours, giving yourself the space and time to sit back and let your whispers speak up can be hugely transformational. As I always say, we're like bank accounts; you can only withdraw once you deposit. Consider this an opportunity to deposit, and learn more about yourself, so that you can show yourself - and others - more love in return. 

The answers are closer than you think

Clear your head to find the answers

We all want answers. Whether it's when we're going to meet the love of our lives, or how we're ever going to figure out what we really want to be when we grow up, answers are in high demand these days.  And yet, all many of us seem to be finding are questions - and then some more questions.  Who am I? What do I want? How can I get it? When will I get it? Will I ever get it? Those five questions alone are enough to make anyone dizzy.  I'm not saying that there isn't something to be said for "living with the questions" and waiting patiently for the answers. Nor am I suggesting that life is all about finding the answers immediately.  BUT. There are a bunch of answers right at your arm's length right now (yes at this very moment) that you can access should you like to. And a lot of the time, we get so used to living in the land of "I don't know" - "I don't know whether I want to stay with my boyfriend or girlfriend," "I don't know whether to leave my job or not," "I don't know what kind of business I would start."  Here's the thing. I'm going to get very real with you for a minute here (I hope that's okay). You DO know. Or at least you know a lot more than you're giving yourself credit for. So then why oh why do we feel stuck in our own confusion? There are 2 possibilities.  1. You're not giving yourself the time or space to listen to the answers. 2. You're not ready to hear what the answers are. See, when we hear the answer we're looking for, and we take ownership over it, we're driven to take action. It's very hard to know with full certainty that you're in a relationship that's not working for you, and still stay put. Therefore, to delay or avoid taking action, we choose the safest response for the time being, which ends up being: "I don't know." Because as frustrating as not knowing may be, it's probably far less scary than the idea of breaking up (or changing your career path, or moving to a new city).  So what's the moral of the story? First, decide if you're really ready to listen to what your core truths are saying. Are you ready to hear what they have to say, and as a result, take action that might not feel the most comfortable to take? Are you ready to step outside of your comfort zone and choose authenticity over playing it safe? Growth doesn't come from staying put; it comes from stretching yourself, from challenging your limits. To find these seemingly elusive answers is simple: get quiet. Remarkably simple, and yet not necessarily so remarkably easy. Whether you close your eyes and let your mind drift, take a yoga class, or sit with your journal and a pen is up to you.  There's no magic potion beyond that. The answers to all of your questions live inside of you. Some are easier to access than others, but they're all there, waiting to be heard. It's up to you as to how fast that happens.      This week's Quarter Life Clarity assignment   Decide whether or not you're ready to uncover the answers that live within you.If you're not, that's totally okay! Just take ownership of that, and recognize that it's not that "you don't know" - it's that you don't want to know - and that's a significant difference. If you are, fantastic! Give yourself at least 15 minutes a day to get quiet and then repeat your question to yourself or in your journal, and let it sit. The answer will soon appear. Listen closely.